I have no car, and I must snack

I bought my current Ford Ranger almost six years ago. During that time, I've put 85,000 miles on it and spent a grand total of $200 on car repair; the hydraulic clutch fluid line broke a few years ago. Other than that, the car has been a worry-free, bulletproof chunk of reliability. Which, given that it's a Ford, qualifies as a goddamned pope-certified miracle. Unfortunately, the "Check Engine" light made a mysterious appearance a few days ago, which means that the car is currently in the shop, leaving me without transportation. This wouldn't be a problem for most people who work at home, but I'm currently going through severe cheeseburger withdrawal.

Yes, I'm still making a half-assed attempt at a diet. Cutting out soda has been irritating, but that and a switch to 2% milk have been the only parts I've been able to adhere to. I have at least cut back on the cheeseburger/french fry consumption, leading to an increase in deli sandwiches and Chipotle chicken burritos (yeah, I know, they probably aren't good for me, but they've got to be better than red meat and potatoes fried in lard). But no car today meant no fast food runs, which meant a bowl of leftover quinoa for lunch, which meant a hunger pains this afternoon.

I ransacked the pantry and fridge and found a box of cereal. I wasn't sure if the box belonged to me or our current (fresh out of law school and dirt-poor) houseguest and had just about talked myself into having a bowl or six (wishing I had whole milk to pour all over it) when I took a closer look and noticed that it was a box of Honey Bunches of Oats... with chocolate flakes. I know for a fact that I'd never buy a cereal that half-assed; I demand my breakfast food be either delicious or healthy, with no overlap. So I sadly put the box back on the shelf and tried to content myself with some apples, all while dreaming of a nice cheesesteak.

On another note, allow me to be the millionth person to complain about the new online banking "security" measures. Our Snotmobile loan is with Bank of America. As I am morally opposed to buying stamps and too chronically irresponsible to make regular phone payments, I'm a HUGE fan of online autopay. So I signed up for online banking. I put in all my info, but wasn't able to log on. I called customer service, and they told me I needed a password reset, which they would send via mail "for security purposes." The temporary password arrived a week later, which I used to log on, only to learn that I needed to reset my password before I could do anything else. I called customer service again, and they told me that my temporary password had expired in the time it had taken me to get the letter (!!!!) and that they'd need to mail me a new one "for security purposes." I used this opportunity to take out some unresolved anger on the customer service lady, who eventually gave up and read me my new password over the phone. Which they could have done with the first password, but anyway. I finally logged on, and spent the next 20 minutes hunting fruitlessly for an autopay option. It was in this frustrated state of mind that I picked up the phone and blundered through the horrible automated phone system to make the payment, which might help explain why I made the payment from the wrong account and am now looking at $40 in overdraft protection charges from my other bank. In the meantime, that other bank has also reset my online password and mailed me the new one "for security purposes." I have no point here, except to say that the phrase "for security purposes" is being used to get people to put up with some incredibly stupid, useless shit.